So, in their distressed, perhaps even mentally ill state of mind, they would be helping their loved ones by freeing them of this burden. One, many people who seriously consider suicide actually think they are burdening their family by staying alive. “Suicide is selfish.” This inspires more guilt.Heaping guilt on top of that is not going to help them feel soothed, understood, or welcome to tell you more. “Don’t you know I would be devastated if you killed yourself? How could you think of hurting me like that?” Your loved one already feels awful.This sort of statement conveys disbelief and judgment, not understanding. It can greatly help a suicidal person to feel understood. “How could you think of suicide? Your life’s not that bad.” Perhaps on the outside the suicidal person’s life does not seem “that bad.” The pain lies underneath. But, depending on the context, some people might respond positively to at least some of these responses. First, a caveat: In general, these statements can convey judgment and foster alienation. Here are 10 common responses that can discourage the person from telling you more. Understandably you are full of emotion, and you might have many thoughts, some helpful, some not. It could lead to your friend or family member letting you in even more – or shutting the door. By telling you they want to die, they are giving you the opportunity to help. How could they want to die?Īs unwelcome as those words are to your ears, your loved one has handed you a gift. Those five words are a shock to hear, a dreadful pronouncement from a friend or family member you do not want to lose.
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